Thursday, 29 April 2010

I've become what I said I would never be.
For example, I enrolled my son for swimming lessons and somehow missed the renewal date for the next term. Just as he got settled (and I didn't have to sit on the side of the pool for the whole lesson and managed to inch away to the viewing spot with the other parents) the term was up. As I hadn't got the note to pay for the next term - he lost his place. Anyway, as I have become obsessed with how good he is (as I used to swim competitively) I called up the pool and spoke to the poor lad who looks after the lesson bookings. My sentences were peppered with the words 'desperate to get him back in' and 'he's progressed amazingly' and 'I'd do anything'. After I had spoken to him, and exerted as much verbal pressure as a Mum with her childs best interests at heart can do, I ended up speaking to the manager, who assured me something would be done about him missing the renewal and he'd get back in. I sat back satisfied (my husband shaking his head) and thought... I've turned into a pushy mother.
The early signs of this competitiveness, that I did not heed was also my pushchair obsession. To a new mum or dad, the pushchair almost becomes like buying a new car. Once you've shelled out for your first born, for the pushchair that does everything you then (well I did anyway) start to refine your needs. You become very aware of everyone elses pushchair. Casting sly glances (like you do when you like someone's car or shoes better than yours but don't want to admit it) and sneaking quick peaks at the dominant features i.e. colour, seat recline, shopping basket, handles and of course the matching change bag and cosy toes! For me it became a mission and also as time went on from my first child, I found I needed to justify it more so I've ended up going through about six different pushchairs over 4 years.

And so now onto the birthday parties. What is an exceptable level of spend on a 4 year olds party seeing as this is another key competitive area? Surely it can't be more than a few games, food, cake and party bags? Errr no. We've been to lots of parties all varying from hiring halls and bouncy castles to entertainers and mini cars, farm adventures and the biggest hell of all - soft play parties. What happened to good old fashioned pass the parcel sabbotaged by tearing a little of the paper each time its passed so you can see when is down to prize and your ready to pounce or sleeping lions - mums and dads loved that one (almost as good as nap time).

I'm back on the right road to loving my blog time after my 3 month negligence... will let you know how the party does go seeing as its next week... gulp.


Wednesday, 6 January 2010

The chocolate lolly pop - its not what you think

Setting the tone for this post.... a toilet trained 3.5yr old with very good manners... a slightly OCD mother and copious amounts of toilet roll....

Starting to get the picture?

I am sick of living in a house, where as the only toilet cleaner, and only woman I have very impressive toilet manners i.e.

- I wipe the seat clean if there are any little spillages
- 'go faster stripes' are cleaned off with toilet brush (and toilet brush gets a flush rinse too)
- Toilet roll is replaced if finished
- Air freshener is used if unladylike aroma is detained
- Hands are washed with soap and hand towel replaced on the hook/radiator

Basically Drama King has been pretty messy so far (like his father) with wee over the seat, back of the seat, lid, floor and skirting board (HOW???). He also uses about a roll of toilet paper on such a small bottom! HOW??? I am forgiving as he is my small boy - unlike his father who I call 'filthy animal' when faced with his offerings.

This particular time, DK was in there for ages. We were at the dinner table and I was feed Mr T's little chubby face so suitable distracted. "What is he doing in there' I asked my husband for the second time so he might actually get up and have a look. When suddenly we heard the 'Ding' of the toilet brush clashing against the bowl. "Oh no" was the stereo effect from across the table and with look of horror already plastered on his face, husband went to see what was going on.

All I could hear was 'Daddy I was just cleaning like mummy does' came the confident response.

I rushed over to survey the damage and was faced with an empty toilet roll (most of it was on the floor, some in the toilet and some in the sink???!!!)  the chocolate lolly pop - poo on a toilet brush - so much so, you could see more poo than brush and a small boy with an angelic look on his face. Needless to say my OCD took over, I ushered them out and armed with the marigolds, toilet duck and Cif I demolished the offending items. The toilet brush has since been replaced.

Needless to say, I now keep the brush well out of sight and DK gets a little shout after a few minutes 'DK you alright in there' to show I'm paying attention.